Making A Baby

[spirithunter]

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
decided to
use a surrogate father to start their family. On the
day the
proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife
goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man
should
be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
baby
photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to
make a
sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said,
'I've come to..'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in,
embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'


'Have you really?' said the photographer.
'Well, that's good Did you know babies are my
specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where
do we
start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the
bed.
And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can
really
spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it
didn't
work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good
one
every time. But if we try several different positions
and I
shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure
you'll be
pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take
his
time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes,
but
I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'


'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith
quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a
portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on
the
top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping
at her
throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
when
you consider their mother was so difficult to work
with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her
to
the park to get the job done right. People were
crowding
around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her
eyes
wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for
more
than three hours, too. The mother was constantly
squealing
and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when
darkness
approached I had to rush my shots.. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had
to pack
it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they
actually
chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes... Well, if
you're
ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to
work
right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest
my
Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand
very
long.'
Mrs Smith fainted

[bbsy2]

LMAO