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Post by Queen of the Damned on Mar 17, 2009 20:53:22 GMT -5
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Post by bbsy2 on Mar 17, 2009 21:02:39 GMT -5
Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so i stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that im a whore. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we proceeded to have sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell your faking." FML
Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After three long weeks of him ignoring me and cancelling out on time we were supposed to spend with each other. He looked at me with the most confused look on his face. Then he says ''Are you serious? I was planning the perfect day to ask you to marry me'' FML
Today, walking from class to my apartment, I was mugged and had my wallet, phone, and backpack taken from me. As I handed my stuff over I angrily muttered "you're taking everything from but my shoes", under my breath. The asshole heard me, looked down, and demanded my sneakers. FML
F*** My Life My life sucks but I don't give a fuck Advanced search - last Home - Top FML - Flop FML - Random FML - FAQ - API - Team’s blog - Submit your FML - Moderate the FMLs Submit your FML story
* - Concept : An anecdote always starts with "Today" and ends with "FML". There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself. * - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes. * - If your story isn't published on the website, don't feel offended, and thank you nevertheless!
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Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequins ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then proceeded to slap it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
are the best ones so far... the last one thus far is the best... and the last one I read, lol!
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Post by Queen of the Damned on Mar 17, 2009 21:09:25 GMT -5
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Post by Queen of the Damned on Mar 18, 2009 13:47:54 GMT -5
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML ouch!
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Post by Queen of the Damned on Mar 18, 2009 13:49:18 GMT -5
"Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML"
Stores parents? ouch!
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Post by bbsy2 on Mar 18, 2009 14:50:48 GMT -5
The first one you posted was awesome,the second one... uh seriously, wtf? LMAO
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Post by Queen of the Damned on Mar 18, 2009 14:52:14 GMT -5
The first one you posted was awesome,the second one... uh seriously, wtf? LMAO the second one was just wrong!
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Post by DRAVEN on Mar 18, 2009 14:53:21 GMT -5
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML ouch! Chyna?
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Post by bbsy2 on Mar 18, 2009 15:02:28 GMT -5
The first one you posted was awesome,the second one... uh seriously, wtf? LMAO the second one was just wrong! How in the hell do you make that mistake though? lol! and how far off were they?
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Post by Queen of the Damned on Mar 18, 2009 15:51:51 GMT -5
the second one was just wrong! How in the hell do you make that mistake though? lol! and how far off were they? well, these are anonymous confessions, how would I know? lol! they are addicting to read though, damn!
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Post by Queen of the Damned on Mar 18, 2009 15:56:43 GMT -5
Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML ouch! Chyna? maybe binnie who used to post on imdb!
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Post by bbsy2 on Mar 18, 2009 16:03:54 GMT -5
How in the hell do you make that mistake though? lol! and how far off were they? well, these are anonymous confessions, how would I know? lol! they are addicting to read though, damn! Which is why I haven't gone back yet, lol!
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Post by Queen of the Damned on Mar 20, 2009 19:34:25 GMT -5
well, these are anonymous confessions, how would I know? lol! they are addicting to read though, damn! Which is why I haven't gone back yet, lol! you should. I'm surprised Matt hasn't gone there yet.
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Post by hypercringe on Mar 20, 2009 20:56:55 GMT -5
Today, my child says "Mommy. Sometimes my peepee goes up like a stick." I say "Well, honey, that's normal and ok." Then I ask when it does that. And he says "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes..." FML #481631 (114) - 03/20/2009 at 12:15am by ScoobieDoo - kids - I agree, your life is f***ed (29307) - you deserved that one (1715)sharethis Was this posted by anyone here???
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Post by bbsy2 on Mar 20, 2009 21:01:00 GMT -5
LMAO!
no, I need to read further, lol!
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Post by moneyinthebank on Mar 21, 2009 0:00:48 GMT -5
good stuff.
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Post by BigFaker on Mar 21, 2009 9:08:52 GMT -5
What about me?
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Post by Queen of the Damned on Mar 21, 2009 9:17:57 GMT -5
I thought you would enjoy the site silly!
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Post by BigFaker on Mar 21, 2009 9:19:23 GMT -5
I thought you would enjoy the site silly! Ah, I shall set my peepers there then!
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Post by Queen of the Damned on Mar 21, 2009 19:35:22 GMT -5
I thought you would enjoy the site silly! Ah, I shall set my peepers there then! you will have to let us know what you thought of it Matt!
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Post by kaasa on Mar 24, 2009 16:11:42 GMT -5
Bravo
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Post by Queen of the Damned on Mar 27, 2009 17:11:57 GMT -5
Bravo I love the site. I go there when I'm having a bad day, and realize, its not that bad after all...
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