Post by THE Man They Call Uberto on Aug 6, 2008 12:48:30 GMT -5
<Mr. Kennedy> Greetings welcome to I LOVE BIG REAL NHB/RIW SURVIVOR, I weigh in tonight at two hundred and fortytwo pound I hail from Green Bay Wisconsin MRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. KEEEEEEEEENNNEEEEEEDDDYYYY KEN NAH DEE! We'er in a Mansion in Amsterdamn let's meet our set of contestants. They will be playing for five hundred thousand theoritical dollars.
(We go to the pool where there are chairs and everyone is sitting on them.)
UBERTO BARTONO
(Uberto is sitting in a pool chair he has a drink in one hand, a lit blunt in the other. He wears glasses that tint blackish brown.)
<Uberto> I'm loving this Amsterdam mansion, there's mad pot all over the place.
NICE GUY JON
(NGJ Confessional Booth)
<NGJ> Yeah so I'm not such a nice guy after all, and everyone is soon gonna know that.
(NGJ is chilling at the bar drinking a beer.)
BIG FAKER
(Is sitting next to NGJ hammered.)
<Big Faker> WHY WON'T THEY LOOK AT ME WHEN I FUCK THEM!
SIMPSONS WWE
(SIMPSONS WWE Confessional Booth)
<SIMPSONS WWE> Motha fuckas thought that I wasn't gonna be on this shit....fuck even I didn't know I was gonna be on this shit. I'm gonna form an alliance.
(SIMPSONS WWE is in the pool talking to Uberto NGJ.)
<Simpsons> We should form an alliance, I got your back you got mine.
<Uberto> Sure
BBSY
(BBSY is looking at a sleeping female cast member. Uberto looks at him strangly.)
<Uberto> Hmm looks like BBSY has found Christine.
JTS MOM CHRISTINE
<Christine> Huh what? Stop staring perv.
DRAVENINCARNATE
(Draven is drinking coffee at the bar instead of beers.)
(Draven Confessional Booth)
<Draven with jitters> I ju just lu love the taste of co cofffeee.
GEORGIBOY
(Georgiboy runs and trips and lands on his knee.)
<Georgiboy> Ccccccccccccccccc aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, ccccccccccccccccccccccccc aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, cccccccccccccccccccccccccc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, ccccccccccccccc aaaaaaa.
(Georgiboy gets up.)
THE PUNISHER
(Is inside the bar beating up a bartender who served him a stale warm beer.)
<THE PUNISHER> You will be punished for your crimes!
<Bartender> Please stop
<Punisher> Never.
CANEDUST
(Canedust Confessional Booth)
<Canedust> I'm seeing a lot of familiar faces I like it, I feel I can win this thing. I wonder if we're gonna be paired off in teams
LAUGH OUT LOUD
(LOL is wearing an evanesance shirt and he's at the bar talking to a bartender.)
<LOL> No beer for me just coke, acola.
KILLALOTOFJEDIZOMBIEZ
(Is out on the ledge of the estate which is a cliff)
<Killalot> You never know where or when those jedi zombies will attack. But I sense danger.
JT TRANSWELL
(JT TANSWELL confessional booth)
<Transwell> IT'S TANSWELL!
KASAA
(Kasaa is swimming in the pool his head is football shaped he has a small blue hat on.)
JACK TYLER
(Jack Tyler confessional Booth)
<Jack Tyler> I'm taking this contest by storm, fuck alliances, fuck friends, I'm in it for me, that 500 thousand theoritical dollars is mine!
*Beep*
(*Beep* is a TNA gear wearing nerd he's wearing samoa joe stickers all over his body he's sitting in the corner by himself.)
FISHERCHERRYLYNNRKO
(Is wearing a super girl costume, she runs around the pool.)
<Fisher> SUPERMAN THAT HOE!
<Mr. Kennedy> Not now wonder twat. It's time for the catch there are 17 OF YOU.......ANDDDDDDD only sixteen beds, so in a complete random decision team captains are Uberto and Jack Tyler. Uberto you pick first than Jack picks until only one pathetic person is not picked by either of you.
<Uberto> Canedust.
(Canedust goes over to Uberto.)
<Jack Tyler> Big Faker
(Everyone gasps as Big fake who right now is completely obliterated is the first draft pick of team Jack Tyler. He falls before reaching Jack.
(Jack Tyler confessional booth)
<Jack Tyler> Good pick I see a lot of potential in Fake.
<Uberto> Draven
(Draven joins Uberto.)
<Jack Tyler> Laugh Out Loud.
(LOL speedwalks to Jack.)
(Punisher Confessional Booth)
<Punisher> He's gonna pick LOL over me, come on where's this guy's head at?
<Uberto> My next pick is BBSY
(BBSY confessional booth)
<BBSY> It seems Uberto has a very team team. Four team mates on 1 team nuts. Hopefully he drafts Christine next.
<Jack Tyler> The Punisher
(Punisher joins him and we cut to a confessional booth)
<Punisher> Now he's starting to make sense.
<Uberto> Now behind every strong team is a strong woman Fisher
(Fisher gets excited and runs to Uberto)
<Uberto> Fisher you're not that woman. Christine come onboard.
(Christine goes and hugs all of her team mates BBSY nearly faints after she hugs him.)
<Uberto> Allllllllllright.
<Jack Tyler> Simpsons
(Simpsons confessional booth.)
<Simpsons> well there goes that alliance I made.
<Uberto> Nice Guy Jon.
(Uberto gives NGJ a pound, we go to Uberto in the Confessional booth.)
<Uberto> Team UDDBCJ FO LIFE NIGGAS! WE'RE TAKING OVER!!!!!
<Jack Tyler> Fisher.
(Fisher joins, cut to Jack Tyler confessional booth.)
<Jack Tyler> Like hell my teams gonna be a sausage fest.
<Mr. Kennedy we're getting down to our final 5! Georgiboy, Killalot, *Beep*, Tanswell, Kasaa. Uberto Who's your next pick.
<Uberto> I'm thinking about having a power house team, and you never know when Jedi Zombies might ransack this place. Killalot get over here.
(Killalot Confessional Booth.)
<Killalot> They made a great choice picking the best for last, I will guard this mansion everyday and everynight.
<Jack Tyler> I know I've made some pretty shocking choices, and this one will be no different, we don't see eye to eye but that doesn't change anything. *Beep*!
(*Beep* looks shocked in the Confessional Booth.)
<*Beep*> They actually picked me who would have thought it., what a bunch of wwe sheep, this smark is going places.
<Uberto> Well I know I gotta save someone, and I know I have a very team orientated group, but....I'm gonna go with Tanswell.
(Tanswell joins Uberto, canedust, draven, bbsy, christine, ngj, and Killalot. BBSY Confessional Booth.)
<BBSY> So what are we team UDDBCJKT? I kinda like that, I don't see our team losing any of the events.
<Mr. Kennedy> And now we come to the bottom two only one of.
<Jack Tyler> Georgiboy.
<Mr. Kennedy> I wasn't finished.
<Jack Tyler> I don't care I still pick Georgiboy.
(Georgiboy joins Jack, Big Faker, LOL, Punisher, Simpsons, Fisher, and *Beep*.)
<Mr. Kennedy> Kasaa your stay was short and pointless, we might as well not having even invited you.
(Kasaa starts walking away.)
<Kasaa> MOTHA FUCKERS! I'm going home to my grandma and grandpa's house, fuck all yall.
(Kasaa leaves.)
<Mr. Kennedy> And the teams are....
<Uberto> TEAM UDDBCJKT! Uberto, Canedust, Draven, BBSY, Christine, Jon, Killalot, and Tanswell!
<Mr. Kennedy> And Team Tyler.
<Jack Tyler> Jack, Big Faker, LOL, Punisher, Simpsons, Fisher, *Beep*, and Georgiboy.
<Mr. Kennedy> NOW GO IN YOUR MANSION YA JABRONIS!!!!.....wrong gimmick.
(Everyone enters the mansion night becomes day.)
TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR I LOVE BIG REAL NHB/RIW Survivor. Next elimination round YOU YES YOU GET to choose which of these people goes home the next time.
(We go to the pool where there are chairs and everyone is sitting on them.)
UBERTO BARTONO
(Uberto is sitting in a pool chair he has a drink in one hand, a lit blunt in the other. He wears glasses that tint blackish brown.)
<Uberto> I'm loving this Amsterdam mansion, there's mad pot all over the place.
NICE GUY JON
(NGJ Confessional Booth)
<NGJ> Yeah so I'm not such a nice guy after all, and everyone is soon gonna know that.
(NGJ is chilling at the bar drinking a beer.)
BIG FAKER
(Is sitting next to NGJ hammered.)
<Big Faker> WHY WON'T THEY LOOK AT ME WHEN I FUCK THEM!
SIMPSONS WWE
(SIMPSONS WWE Confessional Booth)
<SIMPSONS WWE> Motha fuckas thought that I wasn't gonna be on this shit....fuck even I didn't know I was gonna be on this shit. I'm gonna form an alliance.
(SIMPSONS WWE is in the pool talking to Uberto NGJ.)
<Simpsons> We should form an alliance, I got your back you got mine.
<Uberto> Sure
BBSY
(BBSY is looking at a sleeping female cast member. Uberto looks at him strangly.)
<Uberto> Hmm looks like BBSY has found Christine.
JTS MOM CHRISTINE
<Christine> Huh what? Stop staring perv.
DRAVENINCARNATE
(Draven is drinking coffee at the bar instead of beers.)
(Draven Confessional Booth)
<Draven with jitters> I ju just lu love the taste of co cofffeee.
GEORGIBOY
(Georgiboy runs and trips and lands on his knee.)
<Georgiboy> Ccccccccccccccccc aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, ccccccccccccccccccccccccc aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, cccccccccccccccccccccccccc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, ccccccccccccccc aaaaaaa.
(Georgiboy gets up.)
THE PUNISHER
(Is inside the bar beating up a bartender who served him a stale warm beer.)
<THE PUNISHER> You will be punished for your crimes!
<Bartender> Please stop
<Punisher> Never.
CANEDUST
(Canedust Confessional Booth)
<Canedust> I'm seeing a lot of familiar faces I like it, I feel I can win this thing. I wonder if we're gonna be paired off in teams
LAUGH OUT LOUD
(LOL is wearing an evanesance shirt and he's at the bar talking to a bartender.)
<LOL> No beer for me just coke, acola.
KILLALOTOFJEDIZOMBIEZ
(Is out on the ledge of the estate which is a cliff)
<Killalot> You never know where or when those jedi zombies will attack. But I sense danger.
JT TRANSWELL
(JT TANSWELL confessional booth)
<Transwell> IT'S TANSWELL!
KASAA
(Kasaa is swimming in the pool his head is football shaped he has a small blue hat on.)
JACK TYLER
(Jack Tyler confessional Booth)
<Jack Tyler> I'm taking this contest by storm, fuck alliances, fuck friends, I'm in it for me, that 500 thousand theoritical dollars is mine!
*Beep*
(*Beep* is a TNA gear wearing nerd he's wearing samoa joe stickers all over his body he's sitting in the corner by himself.)
FISHERCHERRYLYNNRKO
(Is wearing a super girl costume, she runs around the pool.)
<Fisher> SUPERMAN THAT HOE!
<Mr. Kennedy> Not now wonder twat. It's time for the catch there are 17 OF YOU.......ANDDDDDDD only sixteen beds, so in a complete random decision team captains are Uberto and Jack Tyler. Uberto you pick first than Jack picks until only one pathetic person is not picked by either of you.
<Uberto> Canedust.
(Canedust goes over to Uberto.)
<Jack Tyler> Big Faker
(Everyone gasps as Big fake who right now is completely obliterated is the first draft pick of team Jack Tyler. He falls before reaching Jack.
(Jack Tyler confessional booth)
<Jack Tyler> Good pick I see a lot of potential in Fake.
<Uberto> Draven
(Draven joins Uberto.)
<Jack Tyler> Laugh Out Loud.
(LOL speedwalks to Jack.)
(Punisher Confessional Booth)
<Punisher> He's gonna pick LOL over me, come on where's this guy's head at?
<Uberto> My next pick is BBSY
(BBSY confessional booth)
<BBSY> It seems Uberto has a very team team. Four team mates on 1 team nuts. Hopefully he drafts Christine next.
<Jack Tyler> The Punisher
(Punisher joins him and we cut to a confessional booth)
<Punisher> Now he's starting to make sense.
<Uberto> Now behind every strong team is a strong woman Fisher
(Fisher gets excited and runs to Uberto)
<Uberto> Fisher you're not that woman. Christine come onboard.
(Christine goes and hugs all of her team mates BBSY nearly faints after she hugs him.)
<Uberto> Allllllllllright.
<Jack Tyler> Simpsons
(Simpsons confessional booth.)
<Simpsons> well there goes that alliance I made.
<Uberto> Nice Guy Jon.
(Uberto gives NGJ a pound, we go to Uberto in the Confessional booth.)
<Uberto> Team UDDBCJ FO LIFE NIGGAS! WE'RE TAKING OVER!!!!!
<Jack Tyler> Fisher.
(Fisher joins, cut to Jack Tyler confessional booth.)
<Jack Tyler> Like hell my teams gonna be a sausage fest.
<Mr. Kennedy we're getting down to our final 5! Georgiboy, Killalot, *Beep*, Tanswell, Kasaa. Uberto Who's your next pick.
<Uberto> I'm thinking about having a power house team, and you never know when Jedi Zombies might ransack this place. Killalot get over here.
(Killalot Confessional Booth.)
<Killalot> They made a great choice picking the best for last, I will guard this mansion everyday and everynight.
<Jack Tyler> I know I've made some pretty shocking choices, and this one will be no different, we don't see eye to eye but that doesn't change anything. *Beep*!
(*Beep* looks shocked in the Confessional Booth.)
<*Beep*> They actually picked me who would have thought it., what a bunch of wwe sheep, this smark is going places.
<Uberto> Well I know I gotta save someone, and I know I have a very team orientated group, but....I'm gonna go with Tanswell.
(Tanswell joins Uberto, canedust, draven, bbsy, christine, ngj, and Killalot. BBSY Confessional Booth.)
<BBSY> So what are we team UDDBCJKT? I kinda like that, I don't see our team losing any of the events.
<Mr. Kennedy> And now we come to the bottom two only one of.
<Jack Tyler> Georgiboy.
<Mr. Kennedy> I wasn't finished.
<Jack Tyler> I don't care I still pick Georgiboy.
(Georgiboy joins Jack, Big Faker, LOL, Punisher, Simpsons, Fisher, and *Beep*.)
<Mr. Kennedy> Kasaa your stay was short and pointless, we might as well not having even invited you.
(Kasaa starts walking away.)
<Kasaa> MOTHA FUCKERS! I'm going home to my grandma and grandpa's house, fuck all yall.
(Kasaa leaves.)
<Mr. Kennedy> And the teams are....
<Uberto> TEAM UDDBCJKT! Uberto, Canedust, Draven, BBSY, Christine, Jon, Killalot, and Tanswell!
<Mr. Kennedy> And Team Tyler.
<Jack Tyler> Jack, Big Faker, LOL, Punisher, Simpsons, Fisher, *Beep*, and Georgiboy.
<Mr. Kennedy> NOW GO IN YOUR MANSION YA JABRONIS!!!!.....wrong gimmick.
(Everyone enters the mansion night becomes day.)
TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR I LOVE BIG REAL NHB/RIW Survivor. Next elimination round YOU YES YOU GET to choose which of these people goes home the next time.
