Post by THE Man They Call Uberto on Aug 9, 2008 8:49:57 GMT -5
(Uberto Confessional Booth)
<Uberto> So Mr. Kennedy.....Kennedy has informed me team captain of team UDDBCJKT, that the two teams will be facing off in a challenge he goes on to say that the losing team has to pick three members that are gonna be put in the bottom 3, then it will be decided by the higher power as to who stays and who goes.....but before we do all that LET'S GET SHITTAY.
(Cue to everyone being inside getting drunk off their asses at the bar. Fake takes a shot, then another shot, then a 3rd, 4th and fifth shot.)
<BBSY> Dayuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum Fake you can really hold your alcohol.
<Big Fake> Da keey iz not to dink you be dranken az much as you is.
<BBSY> Okaaaaaaay, Bartender send the lady at the end of the bar a drink on me.
<Bartender> All the drinks were paid for by the show. The booze is free.
<BBSY> Well just tell her that I bought it for her.
<Bartender> I will do no such thing.
<Draven> Bar Keep give me a coffee!
(Bartender gives Draven a nice cup of coffee. Draven spits it out)
<Draven> This isn't Horton's coffee and if it's not Horton's it's crap.
(Throws cup and coffee all over the bartenders face who falls to the ground crying in pain, meanwhile Uberto is sitting next to canedust, Christine, and Jon. Uberto's puffing on yet another blunt.)
<Uberto> I say this, we gotta win this challenge I don't want to see any of us going home.
<Canedust> Even BBSY?
<Uberto> Even BBSY, especially him that Venom lovin bastid. So like I was saying you see fake and his team.
(They all look at fake who pounds another five shots while Jack Tyler, Punisher, and Georgiboy all do jagerbombs.)
<Uberto> See them mother fuckers they are FUCKED up.
<Christine> I already see where your going with this, none of us should drink.
<Canedust> Makes sense, but they're gonna have two sober team members.
<Nice Guy Jon> You mean the two fags? Jenkins and LOL.
(LOL hears this and walks up to Jon)
<LOL> Did you just call me what I think you just called me?
<Nice Guy Jon> What a fag?
<LOL> OH THAT'S IT!
(LOL RIPS his evanesance shirt in half.)
<LOL> LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME DO BROTHERRRRRRRRRRR, YOU MADE ME RIP MY FAVORITE SHIRT YOUR ASS IS GOING DOWN ON THE CHALLENGE.
(LOL and NGJ get in each other's faces, LOL lays out Jon in one punch, everybody's jaws drop. LOL calmly walks away looks at his torn shirt and a tear goes down his cheek. Jon gets up.)
<NGJ> Yeah well Evanesance sucks.
<LOL> BITCH YOU WANT ROUND TWO?
(Simpsons comes over to jon, christine, uberto, and canedust.)
<Simpsons> Alright look I know we're on separate teams but look we can still have an alliance, look we're all team mates when ya think about it.
<Canedust> Yeah but that was before we were drafted to different teams, I don't know if an alliance will pay off in the long run.
<Simpsons> Look I'll even throw some of the challenges. Dammit look at my team their a bunch of drunken lunatics.
(Big Faker staggers by.)
<Big Faker> WHO'S GOT EFFICIENT NIPPLES
<Everyone> YOU DO!
<Christine> You'd throw a challenge?
<Simpsons> Maybe even two or three.
<Uberto>......Nice.
<NGJ> Nice
<Uberto> He does anybody want to go see Phantom tonight?
(Everyone looks at Uberto confused.)
<Canedust> Of the opera?
<Uberto> Fuck yeah good times. Smoke a blunt drink a few beers take a shot or two and watch some Phantom.
(Jack Tyler Confessional)
<Jack Tyler> It's at this point in time I realized that everyone on the opposite team is sober and we're all drunk with the exception of Jenkins and LOL.
(Back to the bar)
<Jack Tyler> Everybody stop drinking we're gonna lose the challenge.
<Big Faker> Dee onry ting Ima be losing is sef respeck.
(Faker takes another shot.)
<Jack Tyler> Jenkins LOL come over here.
(They do.)
<LOL> What do you want Jack?
<Jenkins> Yeah you WWE SHEEP!
<Jack Tyler> Dude not now.
<Jenkins> Alright but you're still and you will always be a WWE sheep.
<Jack Tyler> I watch TNA too,
<Jenkins> You watch the WWE though?
<Jack Tyler> Yes.
<Jenkins> Sheep SHEEP WWPEE SHEEP!
(Punisher walks by with a bat and hits jenkins in the knee cap, jenkins drops to the floor crying.)
<Punisher> You've been punished for the crime of preaching TNA. So what's this little pow wow about?
<Jack Tyler> You drunk?
<Punisher> Nope just tipsy.
<Jack Tyler> Alright no more...
(Georgiboy comes by)
<Georgiboy> Sop?
<Jack Tyler> Look the challenge is in a few minutes hours days whatever, we gotta stop drinking.
<Mr. Kennedy> MRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR............... KEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYY! KEN NAH DEE! Listen up bitches and hoes, it's time to meet your challenge instructor.
<The Fisherman> Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh, A vast yeee landlubbers time to go to the docks and go do some fishin, yahar.
(Cut to the dock there are two big boats and a small one.)
<The Fisherman> Ay maties go into yar team vessels and make the fisherman proud. Whichever team catches the most fish be immune to getting voted off.
(The teams split up and each team goes on a separate boat. The go out in the middle of the ocean/ lake/ bay whatever the fuck they got in Amsterdam we go to Jack Tyler's boat. Simpsons drops his fishing rod in the water.)
<Simpsons> Oops.
<Jack Tyler> You stupid fuck, everybody fish now.
(Every casts out except Georgiboy, who's hook catches and gets stuck in Jenkins cheek, Georgi reels in Jenkins who's howling in pain. Georgi holds up jenkins by his feet.)
<Georgiboy> I caught one I caught one!
(Fisherman's boat drives by.)
<The Fisherman> Catching a member of ye crew does not count.
(Georgi looks depressed. Jack and LOL catch two fish. We go to team UDDBCJKT. Killalot puts his lightsaber in the water, fish float up to the top, every body grabs fish out of the water by the handful.)
<Uberto> Good thinking Killalot.
<Killalot> It's what I do.
<Uberto> No killing mad jedi zombies is what you do.
(We go back to Jack Tylers boat.)
<Jack Tyler> WE CAUGHT FOUR FUCKING FISH! FISH DAMMIT PEOPLE!
(Georgiboy and Punisher and fake catch fish. Fisherman boats by.)
<The Fisherman> Times up everybody.
<Punisher> But we just started.
<The Fisherman> Short challenge I know yahar, everyone back to shore.
(They get back to the shore to do a fish count.)
<The Fisherman> Team Jack Tyler. 10 fish. Team UDDBCJKT 30.
<Uberto> BOOSH!
<The Fisherman> Now Uberto as team captain of the winning team you get to choose who we're gonna see in the bottom three.
<Uberto> This is gonna be a tough one I don't want to make anyone leave, but 250,000 dollars will change my mind....Hmm. Fisher cause I haven't heard a peep out of her, at all. Second Laugh Out Loud, and last but not least......Big Faker.
<Big Faker> Et tu Uberto?
<Mr. Kennedy> Now you that tune into I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE BIG REAL NHB/RIW SURVIVOR you get to choose who goes home, We'll find out NEXT episode.
<Uberto> So Mr. Kennedy.....Kennedy has informed me team captain of team UDDBCJKT, that the two teams will be facing off in a challenge he goes on to say that the losing team has to pick three members that are gonna be put in the bottom 3, then it will be decided by the higher power as to who stays and who goes.....but before we do all that LET'S GET SHITTAY.
(Cue to everyone being inside getting drunk off their asses at the bar. Fake takes a shot, then another shot, then a 3rd, 4th and fifth shot.)
<BBSY> Dayuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum Fake you can really hold your alcohol.
<Big Fake> Da keey iz not to dink you be dranken az much as you is.
<BBSY> Okaaaaaaay, Bartender send the lady at the end of the bar a drink on me.
<Bartender> All the drinks were paid for by the show. The booze is free.
<BBSY> Well just tell her that I bought it for her.
<Bartender> I will do no such thing.
<Draven> Bar Keep give me a coffee!
(Bartender gives Draven a nice cup of coffee. Draven spits it out)
<Draven> This isn't Horton's coffee and if it's not Horton's it's crap.
(Throws cup and coffee all over the bartenders face who falls to the ground crying in pain, meanwhile Uberto is sitting next to canedust, Christine, and Jon. Uberto's puffing on yet another blunt.)
<Uberto> I say this, we gotta win this challenge I don't want to see any of us going home.
<Canedust> Even BBSY?
<Uberto> Even BBSY, especially him that Venom lovin bastid. So like I was saying you see fake and his team.
(They all look at fake who pounds another five shots while Jack Tyler, Punisher, and Georgiboy all do jagerbombs.)
<Uberto> See them mother fuckers they are FUCKED up.
<Christine> I already see where your going with this, none of us should drink.
<Canedust> Makes sense, but they're gonna have two sober team members.
<Nice Guy Jon> You mean the two fags? Jenkins and LOL.
(LOL hears this and walks up to Jon)
<LOL> Did you just call me what I think you just called me?
<Nice Guy Jon> What a fag?
<LOL> OH THAT'S IT!
(LOL RIPS his evanesance shirt in half.)
<LOL> LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME DO BROTHERRRRRRRRRRR, YOU MADE ME RIP MY FAVORITE SHIRT YOUR ASS IS GOING DOWN ON THE CHALLENGE.
(LOL and NGJ get in each other's faces, LOL lays out Jon in one punch, everybody's jaws drop. LOL calmly walks away looks at his torn shirt and a tear goes down his cheek. Jon gets up.)
<NGJ> Yeah well Evanesance sucks.
<LOL> BITCH YOU WANT ROUND TWO?
(Simpsons comes over to jon, christine, uberto, and canedust.)
<Simpsons> Alright look I know we're on separate teams but look we can still have an alliance, look we're all team mates when ya think about it.
<Canedust> Yeah but that was before we were drafted to different teams, I don't know if an alliance will pay off in the long run.
<Simpsons> Look I'll even throw some of the challenges. Dammit look at my team their a bunch of drunken lunatics.
(Big Faker staggers by.)
<Big Faker> WHO'S GOT EFFICIENT NIPPLES
<Everyone> YOU DO!
<Christine> You'd throw a challenge?
<Simpsons> Maybe even two or three.
<Uberto>......Nice.
<NGJ> Nice
<Uberto> He does anybody want to go see Phantom tonight?
(Everyone looks at Uberto confused.)
<Canedust> Of the opera?
<Uberto> Fuck yeah good times. Smoke a blunt drink a few beers take a shot or two and watch some Phantom.
(Jack Tyler Confessional)
<Jack Tyler> It's at this point in time I realized that everyone on the opposite team is sober and we're all drunk with the exception of Jenkins and LOL.
(Back to the bar)
<Jack Tyler> Everybody stop drinking we're gonna lose the challenge.
<Big Faker> Dee onry ting Ima be losing is sef respeck.
(Faker takes another shot.)
<Jack Tyler> Jenkins LOL come over here.
(They do.)
<LOL> What do you want Jack?
<Jenkins> Yeah you WWE SHEEP!
<Jack Tyler> Dude not now.
<Jenkins> Alright but you're still and you will always be a WWE sheep.
<Jack Tyler> I watch TNA too,
<Jenkins> You watch the WWE though?
<Jack Tyler> Yes.
<Jenkins> Sheep SHEEP WWPEE SHEEP!
(Punisher walks by with a bat and hits jenkins in the knee cap, jenkins drops to the floor crying.)
<Punisher> You've been punished for the crime of preaching TNA. So what's this little pow wow about?
<Jack Tyler> You drunk?
<Punisher> Nope just tipsy.
<Jack Tyler> Alright no more...
(Georgiboy comes by)
<Georgiboy> Sop?
<Jack Tyler> Look the challenge is in a few minutes hours days whatever, we gotta stop drinking.
<Mr. Kennedy> MRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR............... KEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYY! KEN NAH DEE! Listen up bitches and hoes, it's time to meet your challenge instructor.
<The Fisherman> Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh, A vast yeee landlubbers time to go to the docks and go do some fishin, yahar.
(Cut to the dock there are two big boats and a small one.)
<The Fisherman> Ay maties go into yar team vessels and make the fisherman proud. Whichever team catches the most fish be immune to getting voted off.
(The teams split up and each team goes on a separate boat. The go out in the middle of the ocean/ lake/ bay whatever the fuck they got in Amsterdam we go to Jack Tyler's boat. Simpsons drops his fishing rod in the water.)
<Simpsons> Oops.
<Jack Tyler> You stupid fuck, everybody fish now.
(Every casts out except Georgiboy, who's hook catches and gets stuck in Jenkins cheek, Georgi reels in Jenkins who's howling in pain. Georgi holds up jenkins by his feet.)
<Georgiboy> I caught one I caught one!
(Fisherman's boat drives by.)
<The Fisherman> Catching a member of ye crew does not count.
(Georgi looks depressed. Jack and LOL catch two fish. We go to team UDDBCJKT. Killalot puts his lightsaber in the water, fish float up to the top, every body grabs fish out of the water by the handful.)
<Uberto> Good thinking Killalot.
<Killalot> It's what I do.
<Uberto> No killing mad jedi zombies is what you do.
(We go back to Jack Tylers boat.)
<Jack Tyler> WE CAUGHT FOUR FUCKING FISH! FISH DAMMIT PEOPLE!
(Georgiboy and Punisher and fake catch fish. Fisherman boats by.)
<The Fisherman> Times up everybody.
<Punisher> But we just started.
<The Fisherman> Short challenge I know yahar, everyone back to shore.
(They get back to the shore to do a fish count.)
<The Fisherman> Team Jack Tyler. 10 fish. Team UDDBCJKT 30.
<Uberto> BOOSH!
<The Fisherman> Now Uberto as team captain of the winning team you get to choose who we're gonna see in the bottom three.
<Uberto> This is gonna be a tough one I don't want to make anyone leave, but 250,000 dollars will change my mind....Hmm. Fisher cause I haven't heard a peep out of her, at all. Second Laugh Out Loud, and last but not least......Big Faker.
<Big Faker> Et tu Uberto?
<Mr. Kennedy> Now you that tune into I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE BIG REAL NHB/RIW SURVIVOR you get to choose who goes home, We'll find out NEXT episode.
