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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 2:43:43 GMT -5
He's pretty much the opposite of hot. He's one of those hardcore Republicans that hate everything except for Jesus and guns.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 2:46:19 GMT -5
How unfortunate. I once shot a BB Gun at my little cousin. I didn't mean to. I told him to dodge it.
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 2:53:52 GMT -5
Haha. I gave my little cousin a swirly once. Unfortunately he's quite a bit stronger than me now.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 2:58:37 GMT -5
Yeah, my little cousin is way bigger than me now, but I instilled so much fear into him as children that he doesn't even try me.
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 2:59:58 GMT -5
That's a pretty good plan for parenting too. You should write an advice book.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 3:01:57 GMT -5
I really liked your idea of taking embarrassing photos of children, because I totally made him try on our grandma's wig and put make up on him as kids. It would be pretty powerful to have that photo today.
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 3:13:05 GMT -5
I have several awesome photos of my cousins to use as blackmail. One did crossdress, but he's rather proud of it and never returned my bra. This one's not that great, but he seems pissed about it. I put him in a trash can.  When we have kids we'll have to let each other babysit. |
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 3:15:55 GMT -5
Oh, I wont be having any kids. I'm not getting snipped or anything, but if I ever knock a girl up I'll just make her get an abortion or something. But yeah, I'll totally watch yours and stuff. ;D
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 3:17:30 GMT -5
Better yet, just make her give it to me. I want kids without the whole pregnancy stuff and adoption is too much bother.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 3:19:47 GMT -5
Its yours! You wont even have to pay me an adoption fee. We'll just make a trade. The baby for a bag of twizzlers. FYI, I like the cherry pull n peel kind. But please, don't go getting specific with the baby. I don't think we can help out it turns out.
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 3:21:38 GMT -5
I don't care what it is. I fully intend to train it to my liking. You can have all the twizzlers I ever get.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 3:25:38 GMT -5
Can I make weird innuendos? Like "I's ya pappy, bitch." Or is that not so much an innuendo as it is just coming out and revealing it?
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 3:26:49 GMT -5
You could act out Star Wars with him. I'm willing to let you cut his hand off instead of yours having to go.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 3:31:51 GMT -5
I've actually never seen Star Wars, but I wouldn't mind cutting his hand off just the same to act out Hannibal. When I'm done can I throw the severed hand into the garbage disposal? I've always wanted to try that.
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 3:32:43 GMT -5
Yeah, but only after we attempt to have it possessed.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 3:35:01 GMT -5
Oh, good point. We're gonna be the best guardians ever. What child wouldn't want his hand cut off so he can have it replaced with a hook?
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 3:36:28 GMT -5
Make sure you knock up at least three women. If we're going to give one a hook then we need another one for an eye patch and then another for a peg leg. All on one would be tacky.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 3:39:53 GMT -5
Which one will get the parrot?
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 3:41:22 GMT -5
We can stick that on our dead husband's kids. Step-children are the worst.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 3:48:32 GMT -5
Oh yeah, I forgot we'll have live in maids... err, I mean, step kids. ;D We'll make them do really useful things, like change the channel and clip our toenails.
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 3:52:17 GMT -5
I don't know. They might enjoy clipping our nails too much.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 3:54:03 GMT -5
Wow. Uncomfortable much. Now I'll never allow them to give me a foot massage with "lotion" ever again.
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 3:55:13 GMT -5
It's best not to allow them any human touch at all.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 3:57:27 GMT -5
Down to the cellar it is for them. It'll be like People Under the Stairs. I'm assuming we keep the circus freaks down there as well.
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 4:03:26 GMT -5
We should probably just let them keep the tent in the back. We have to worry about them attacking us.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 4:07:07 GMT -5
Oh, right, I forgot about that. Plus, I really don't want mermaid girl having the house smell like tuna from the basement up.
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 4:14:37 GMT -5
Me either. I'd really hate to have to serve her to our guests as dinner.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 4:16:48 GMT -5
I know. She's such a rare attraction. She would make a delicious sushi roll though.
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Post by Mutant Crouch on Jan 13, 2010 4:18:39 GMT -5
That's true. Maybe we could just sew a tail onto one of the step children.
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Post by bfizzle on Jan 13, 2010 4:21:27 GMT -5
One that's easily removable of course. Don't want her thinking she can skip out on the chores because she can't walk with the tail on.
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