Post by Captain Smiley on Dec 5, 2010 5:39:33 GMT -5
www.fanfiction.net/u/1234607/Maniac_Mike
Raw Parady by TNA-Sting_Fan (Mon Mar 3 2008 19:32:08)
Based on the creatino of SJenkins32-1
Enjoy!
FLAW 2
Monday Night Flaw the Movie II
A 6 hour special
A look back…
WWE Monday Night Flaw
Incest Angle
The Next Week After
Paul: Look, an old picture of my senior prom.
Katie: We sure had fun that night.
Paul: You were a wonderful dancer, still are.
Katie: I had fun when you took me to my prom as well.
Paul: Boy, good thing mom and dad never found out.
Katie: They wouldn't understand.
Paul: Just like when we would go to the movies together.
Katie: And go out to dinner.
Paul: Remember our tree house?
Katie: I loved spending time there.
WWE Lackey: Katie, you're next.
Paul: I'll go with you for support.
(Paul and Katie hug.)
Jim Floss: (pukes in cowboy hat) Why are we replaying this crap?
Theme music: www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjFFoy3tg4s
But it didn’t stop there. They showed the Katie Lea Burchill vs. Mickey James match. Paul came out to support his little sister, didn’t bother to look at Mickey at all. He just made goo-goo eyes at Katie the entire time.
We see a split screen of Vinnie Mac Daddy watching on with pride. “These kids make me proud,” he says. At this point in the Katie vs. Mickey match Paul Burchill had joined Jim Floss and Burger King for commentary. Floss plugged the next PPV while Burger talked about the ladies. Paul spoke about how beautiful Katie is and knew she’d become the top diva. Burger mentioned how close Paul and Katie are. Paul said no one ever understood their closeness. Paul left the broadcast table and helped Katie beat Mickie. Paul and Katie hugged. They left the ring holding hands.
Jim Floss: We went on the air at 6:00 PM Eastern time. And for the last 15 minutes we’ve focused on the Burchills.
Burger King: Up next we have Super Crazy against Trevor Murdoch. That’s next.
Narrator: We’ve seen Kane in See No Evil. We saw The Undertaker in I Still See No Evil. Then Big Daddy V starred in I’ll Never See No Evil. Now Mark Henry stars in There’s No Evil To See.
JF: Wow, another blockbuster WWE movie that no one will care about.
BK: Finally our first match of the evening. Super Crazy, a man who’s definitely not being held down. Even though he won’t be on our next Pay-Per-View event which barely has any build up to it. Oh, wait…I think it’s done. 1-2-3 Captain Broke Back wins it. I guarantee you won’t find a match like this on TNA.
JF: Burger, the WWE is all about making dreams come true. We’ve hired a brand new jobber. All the way from the Wanker Hills.
BK: We found him on IMDB.com and saw what a loyal sheep he is.
JF: His friends call him Rubbish. Now we call him Jess “JT” Tanswell. Big Daddy V and Hardcore Holly trained him for 2 weeks. Mark Henry helped with his training. Lately Snitsky has been his primary trainer. Candice Michelle and Michelle Mc Cool have assisted in the training. Let’s here from our jobber.
Jess: Um… …………………….. Hi. -- Thank you…… _ Yeah…………..
BK: JF, this guy is horrible.
Jess: … Aw…ab-about- - my………………op-op—opportunity - - - - ……. Here tonight. (GULP!)
JF: He sucks.
Jess: Well…………………………………………………tttttttttttttttttttttt………………
……………………………………….. thank- - _ _ yyyyyy…. You.
Vinnie Mac Daddy: SHUT OFF HIS MIC!
JF: Up next we have Jess “JT” Tanswell against “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.
BK: Yeah, this’ll rock. TNA and ROH would never book this crap.
(We see Cripple H involved in another pointless angle.)
(Jess is already in the ring. No ring music is wasted for him.)
(Duggan pinned jobber Jess in 18 seconds.)
(Just then Paul and Katie Lea Burchill entered the ring for a needless promo.)
Paul: Hi everyone I used to be a pirate. I used to be on Wack Down. Now without any explanation I'm on Flaw. Over the years WWE has been known for bait and switch. (Jess helplessly attempts to get to his feet.)
Katie: That’s right, Paul. For example, Goldust. Cop-out! (No officials bother to help jobber Jess.)
Paul: Cuck and Billy? Cop-out. (Jess finally makes it back to his feet.)
Katie: There’s certainly been a lot of phonies around here. People who claim one thing and do another. (Jess struggles across the ring. Katie slaps him hard across the face. Jess falls down again.)
Paul: Woa! What happened?
Katie: He tried to look down my dress.
Paul: He what? (Paul Burchill pulled Jess up and punched him in the jaw.)
Katie: Destroy him, big brother.
Paul: I want a match against him NOW! (A referee runs into the ring.)
JF: OK I know this Jess lad is pathetic, but enough is enough.
BK: The bell rings. Whoa! What a clothesline. Jess goes right down.
JF: What is this move that Paul is applying on Jess?
BK: I don’t know, it looks familiar.
JF: PILE…
BK: DRIVER!
JF: I thought we banned this move.
BK 1-2-3! It’s over.
JF: 45 wasted minutes in yet another dumb meaningless program. Katie is calling for the mic.
Katie: I demand a match against this loser right now.
BK: WOW! GOSH! Katie Lea is going to wrestle the helpless, defenseless, retarded Jess Tanswell. The ref calls for the bell.
JF: She’s busted him open. Now she’s setting him up for a…
BK: Tombstone? I thought we banned that one as well.
JF: 1-2-3! It’s done. Jess has failed. 0-3 in his debut.
BK: He sucks. Who hired this loser? Probably the same genius that hired Snitsky, Santino, and re-signed Mark Henry and rehired Big Daddy V.
JF: Now then we have an upcoming Pay-Per-View event on the horizon. An event once again with very little build up. We sure hope our fans aren’t disappointed this time around.
BK: Tough luck with that. We’ve wasted so much time here already.
(“NO CHANCE!”) Oh my it’s our boss, Vinnie Mac Daddy!
We still don’t have time to hype up our next PPV event No Way Out of the State VIII although we know John Zena who already regained the WWE World Heavyweight Title last week, will be defending the title against Triple H in a 60 minute Iron Man match.
JF: I hope our Chairman of the Board has something interesting to say.
Mac Daddy: (Points to Jess) Get this garbage out of my ring.
BK: I sure hope our first hour wasn’t a complete disappointment to our fans.
JF: Don’t worry, our core audience of sheep will eat any crap we seve them.
Mac Daddy: Paul, Katie, I'm very proud of both of you. I wish you two could be my own son and daughter.
(Mac Daddy has a tear in his eye. He hugs both Paul and Katie.)
“IT’s ALL ABOUT THE GAME!”
BK: It’s Cripple H, the WWE son-in-law. This should be good.
JF: He has that 60 minute Iron Man match that we’ve all been waiting to see-we’ll not really-will take pace on NWOOTS8 for only a bargain price at 59.99 or for High Definition viewers it’ll be 72.98.
BK: Look at Crips spit that water. Typical Cripple H trash.
Cripple H talks and talks and talks. The front row leaves to use the bathroom others to get popcorn. Paul Burchill says he wants the winner of the John Zena vs. Cripple H match. Cripple H looks at Katie Lea and smiles. Burchill attacks H. People at home switch to WWE 24/7 and turn on ECW. Others put it on World Class. The hardcore sheep just deals with it.
JF: Cripple H of course has the upper hand, no surprise here.
BK: None at all. He’s pretty much burying Burchill. Here comes Vinnie Mac Daddy. He fore-arm smashes him from behind.
JF: But Cripps no sells it. He turns around to face the boss. Katie Lea runs from behind and low-blows Cripple. Mac Daddy is calling for someone to enter the ring. It’s... UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN
GGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
BK: We don’t need a 3 minute warning now. Oh my Cripple H is getting destroyed by Umanga, Mr. Mac Daddy, and Paul Burchill.
JF: Wait, what’s this irritating ring music I hear? Oh yeah, it’s our poor excuse for a champion, John Zena.
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! YOU SUCK!
BK: Listen to how much our fans love him. I'm sure they’re booing Mac Daddy and the weird brother and sister duo and Jamal.
JF: Indeed. Look at our chump cleaning house. Now Cripple H, no longer feeling the affects from the beating, is helping out John Zena beat on Burchill, Umanga, and Mac Daddy.
Cripple and Zena clean house. Mac Daddy and his friends head
BK: I hope these last 90 minutes haven’t been disappointing to you sheep at home. We promise you they’ll be a real match.
(KENNEDY!)
JF: Oh my here comes Mr. Kennedy, another wrestler who we love to shove down your throats.
BK: Oh yeah, we never grow tired of him. No matter how irritating his voice gets.
(Kennedy gets on the mic again. While he opens up his big mouth again a fan throws a box of candy at him and it hits his face. The audience cheers.)
Kennedy: WHO DID THAT?
Audience: YOU SUCK!
(Funaki enters the ring. Kennedy refuses to wrestle because nobody saw who hit Kennedy in the face. While security asked around, Kennedy stormed off.)
Pat “Yes Man” Patterson: But you must compete, Kennedy.
Kennedy: I go out there and aggravate people with my sucky routine. I deserve respect. I'm leaving.
(Kennedy takes off.)
Jerry “Suck Up” Brisco: We’ll need a replacement. Let’s send that Tanswell wanker.
(Jess was still in the recovery area.)
Jess: Um um… I-I thought this stuff was fake.
Arn Anderson: Hey Tanswell, we need you in the ring. NOW!
Jess: Yes sir.
JF: It’s getting really difficult to be a puppet around here. When the intelligent posters on IMDb says the WWE sucks, well tonight I can see there point.
BK: Come on JF, WWE has made ECW better.
JF: Shut up.
(Jess walks to the ring to face Funaki who is supposed to be on Wack Down.)
BK: Boy, you’re in a bad mood.
JF: I should’ve stayed in WCW.
(Funaki mops the floor with Jess.)
BK: Now the dork is 0-4. HA HA!
JF: So what?
(Backstage we see Mac Daddy, William Steven Regal, and Blandy “RKO” Bore-ton talking.)
BK: Wow, this is exciting, Floss!
JF: No, it really isn’t. Gee, up next we’ve got ECW’s The Mizz against The Boogey Man. My goodness, back in 1993 what was I thinking? I should’ve kept my job in WCW, perhaps things would be different now.
BK: Whoa! Look at The Mizz.
JF: But no, I had to leave and join Watered-down Wrestling Enterprise.
BK: It’s Boogey Man.
JF: A toga, I had to wear a toga on a PPV event.
(The Boogey Man captures the victory.)
BK: This second hour has been impressive so far.
JF: Then a year later Mac Daddy fires me.
BK: Um, next we’ve got a non-title match.
JF: Mac Daddy gets indicted, so he calls me back.
BK: It features our WWE Champion John Zena.
JF: After Mac Daddy cheats his way to a “not guilty” verdict, he fires me again.
BK: The Chump will take on 5 Raw wrestlers um I mean sports entertainers that no one cares about.
JF: So much crap over the years.
BK: And our chump will also face 5 people from Wackdown.
JF: Hog farmers, wrestling plumbers, The Goon, clowns, it’s all just too much.
BK: And the Vanilla Ice wannabe will also take on 5 ECW grapplers.
JF: We gave Mable a push.
BK: That’s 15 opponents for the chump.
(The stupid Blandy theme music hits.)
Bore-ton: Ya’ know, if John Zena were a real man he’d agree to make this an elimination match instead.
Zena: I agree. Also Lucy Lawless accidently thought I was Eminem so as a favor to her I'm changing the spelling of my name. So I am now, John Xena. THUG LIFE! CHAIN GANG!
JF: I could’ve been in WCW when Hulk Hogan arrived.
(The crap fest match began.)
BK: The chump gave an FU to a WD competitor. 1-2-3! Elimination. 14 guys to go. STFU on another one. And a roll up, another one gone.
JF: To think I could’ve been with WCW when “Macho Man” Randy Savage arrived.
BK: Our chump just got rid of all the WD guys. 10 opponents to go.
JF: I could’ve been the lead announcer for Monday Nitro.
The Chump, John Xena obviously wins.
BK: Now Xena applies a figure four and eliminates another one, 9 more. Oh boy, he immediately gets an inside cradle on another one. 8 more. Clothesline! And another elimination. 7 more.
JF: I could’ve been with WCW during the N.W.O. days.
BK: Chump Xena just eliminated another one. 6 more to go. JF: 1997 the biggest year in wrestling thanks to WCW and N.W. O and I'm stuck with stale garbage over here.
BK: 5 more, wow.
JF: 1998, Bill Goldberg. Bret Hart. But no, I'm stuck here with lame crap. 1999, Mick Foley wins the title…BIG DEAL!
BK: Oh my, our chump eliminates another one. 4 more. Make that 3.
JF: Huh! Hour three, and still the show sucks. 1999 we dealt with a Mac Daddy program. Vince, Linda, Shane, Stephanie. I should’ve been with WCW.
BK: 2 more to go. FU elemination.
JF: 2000 I could’ve worked along side Eric Bischoff, Vince Russo, and Ed Ferrara.
BK: The Chump wins!
Cant for the life of me remember what I ever did to piss off Jenkins and his goonies but I also remember them challenging me to fly to America and wrestle Roman in there back yard wrestling group.
Raw Parady by TNA-Sting_Fan (Mon Mar 3 2008 19:32:08)
Based on the creatino of SJenkins32-1
Enjoy!
FLAW 2
Monday Night Flaw the Movie II
A 6 hour special
A look back…
WWE Monday Night Flaw
Incest Angle
The Next Week After
Paul: Look, an old picture of my senior prom.
Katie: We sure had fun that night.
Paul: You were a wonderful dancer, still are.
Katie: I had fun when you took me to my prom as well.
Paul: Boy, good thing mom and dad never found out.
Katie: They wouldn't understand.
Paul: Just like when we would go to the movies together.
Katie: And go out to dinner.
Paul: Remember our tree house?
Katie: I loved spending time there.
WWE Lackey: Katie, you're next.
Paul: I'll go with you for support.
(Paul and Katie hug.)
Jim Floss: (pukes in cowboy hat) Why are we replaying this crap?
Theme music: www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjFFoy3tg4s
But it didn’t stop there. They showed the Katie Lea Burchill vs. Mickey James match. Paul came out to support his little sister, didn’t bother to look at Mickey at all. He just made goo-goo eyes at Katie the entire time.
We see a split screen of Vinnie Mac Daddy watching on with pride. “These kids make me proud,” he says. At this point in the Katie vs. Mickey match Paul Burchill had joined Jim Floss and Burger King for commentary. Floss plugged the next PPV while Burger talked about the ladies. Paul spoke about how beautiful Katie is and knew she’d become the top diva. Burger mentioned how close Paul and Katie are. Paul said no one ever understood their closeness. Paul left the broadcast table and helped Katie beat Mickie. Paul and Katie hugged. They left the ring holding hands.
Jim Floss: We went on the air at 6:00 PM Eastern time. And for the last 15 minutes we’ve focused on the Burchills.
Burger King: Up next we have Super Crazy against Trevor Murdoch. That’s next.
Narrator: We’ve seen Kane in See No Evil. We saw The Undertaker in I Still See No Evil. Then Big Daddy V starred in I’ll Never See No Evil. Now Mark Henry stars in There’s No Evil To See.
JF: Wow, another blockbuster WWE movie that no one will care about.
BK: Finally our first match of the evening. Super Crazy, a man who’s definitely not being held down. Even though he won’t be on our next Pay-Per-View event which barely has any build up to it. Oh, wait…I think it’s done. 1-2-3 Captain Broke Back wins it. I guarantee you won’t find a match like this on TNA.
JF: Burger, the WWE is all about making dreams come true. We’ve hired a brand new jobber. All the way from the Wanker Hills.
BK: We found him on IMDB.com and saw what a loyal sheep he is.
JF: His friends call him Rubbish. Now we call him Jess “JT” Tanswell. Big Daddy V and Hardcore Holly trained him for 2 weeks. Mark Henry helped with his training. Lately Snitsky has been his primary trainer. Candice Michelle and Michelle Mc Cool have assisted in the training. Let’s here from our jobber.
Jess: Um… …………………….. Hi. -- Thank you…… _ Yeah…………..
BK: JF, this guy is horrible.
Jess: … Aw…ab-about- - my………………op-op—opportunity - - - - ……. Here tonight. (GULP!)
JF: He sucks.
Jess: Well…………………………………………………tttttttttttttttttttttt………………
……………………………………….. thank- - _ _ yyyyyy…. You.
Vinnie Mac Daddy: SHUT OFF HIS MIC!
JF: Up next we have Jess “JT” Tanswell against “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.
BK: Yeah, this’ll rock. TNA and ROH would never book this crap.
(We see Cripple H involved in another pointless angle.)
(Jess is already in the ring. No ring music is wasted for him.)
(Duggan pinned jobber Jess in 18 seconds.)
(Just then Paul and Katie Lea Burchill entered the ring for a needless promo.)
Paul: Hi everyone I used to be a pirate. I used to be on Wack Down. Now without any explanation I'm on Flaw. Over the years WWE has been known for bait and switch. (Jess helplessly attempts to get to his feet.)
Katie: That’s right, Paul. For example, Goldust. Cop-out! (No officials bother to help jobber Jess.)
Paul: Cuck and Billy? Cop-out. (Jess finally makes it back to his feet.)
Katie: There’s certainly been a lot of phonies around here. People who claim one thing and do another. (Jess struggles across the ring. Katie slaps him hard across the face. Jess falls down again.)
Paul: Woa! What happened?
Katie: He tried to look down my dress.
Paul: He what? (Paul Burchill pulled Jess up and punched him in the jaw.)
Katie: Destroy him, big brother.
Paul: I want a match against him NOW! (A referee runs into the ring.)
JF: OK I know this Jess lad is pathetic, but enough is enough.
BK: The bell rings. Whoa! What a clothesline. Jess goes right down.
JF: What is this move that Paul is applying on Jess?
BK: I don’t know, it looks familiar.
JF: PILE…
BK: DRIVER!
JF: I thought we banned this move.
BK 1-2-3! It’s over.
JF: 45 wasted minutes in yet another dumb meaningless program. Katie is calling for the mic.
Katie: I demand a match against this loser right now.
BK: WOW! GOSH! Katie Lea is going to wrestle the helpless, defenseless, retarded Jess Tanswell. The ref calls for the bell.
JF: She’s busted him open. Now she’s setting him up for a…
BK: Tombstone? I thought we banned that one as well.
JF: 1-2-3! It’s done. Jess has failed. 0-3 in his debut.
BK: He sucks. Who hired this loser? Probably the same genius that hired Snitsky, Santino, and re-signed Mark Henry and rehired Big Daddy V.
JF: Now then we have an upcoming Pay-Per-View event on the horizon. An event once again with very little build up. We sure hope our fans aren’t disappointed this time around.
BK: Tough luck with that. We’ve wasted so much time here already.
(“NO CHANCE!”) Oh my it’s our boss, Vinnie Mac Daddy!
We still don’t have time to hype up our next PPV event No Way Out of the State VIII although we know John Zena who already regained the WWE World Heavyweight Title last week, will be defending the title against Triple H in a 60 minute Iron Man match.
JF: I hope our Chairman of the Board has something interesting to say.
Mac Daddy: (Points to Jess) Get this garbage out of my ring.
BK: I sure hope our first hour wasn’t a complete disappointment to our fans.
JF: Don’t worry, our core audience of sheep will eat any crap we seve them.
Mac Daddy: Paul, Katie, I'm very proud of both of you. I wish you two could be my own son and daughter.
(Mac Daddy has a tear in his eye. He hugs both Paul and Katie.)
“IT’s ALL ABOUT THE GAME!”
BK: It’s Cripple H, the WWE son-in-law. This should be good.
JF: He has that 60 minute Iron Man match that we’ve all been waiting to see-we’ll not really-will take pace on NWOOTS8 for only a bargain price at 59.99 or for High Definition viewers it’ll be 72.98.
BK: Look at Crips spit that water. Typical Cripple H trash.
Cripple H talks and talks and talks. The front row leaves to use the bathroom others to get popcorn. Paul Burchill says he wants the winner of the John Zena vs. Cripple H match. Cripple H looks at Katie Lea and smiles. Burchill attacks H. People at home switch to WWE 24/7 and turn on ECW. Others put it on World Class. The hardcore sheep just deals with it.
JF: Cripple H of course has the upper hand, no surprise here.
BK: None at all. He’s pretty much burying Burchill. Here comes Vinnie Mac Daddy. He fore-arm smashes him from behind.
JF: But Cripps no sells it. He turns around to face the boss. Katie Lea runs from behind and low-blows Cripple. Mac Daddy is calling for someone to enter the ring. It’s... UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN
GGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
BK: We don’t need a 3 minute warning now. Oh my Cripple H is getting destroyed by Umanga, Mr. Mac Daddy, and Paul Burchill.
JF: Wait, what’s this irritating ring music I hear? Oh yeah, it’s our poor excuse for a champion, John Zena.
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! YOU SUCK!
BK: Listen to how much our fans love him. I'm sure they’re booing Mac Daddy and the weird brother and sister duo and Jamal.
JF: Indeed. Look at our chump cleaning house. Now Cripple H, no longer feeling the affects from the beating, is helping out John Zena beat on Burchill, Umanga, and Mac Daddy.
Cripple and Zena clean house. Mac Daddy and his friends head
BK: I hope these last 90 minutes haven’t been disappointing to you sheep at home. We promise you they’ll be a real match.
(KENNEDY!)
JF: Oh my here comes Mr. Kennedy, another wrestler who we love to shove down your throats.
BK: Oh yeah, we never grow tired of him. No matter how irritating his voice gets.
(Kennedy gets on the mic again. While he opens up his big mouth again a fan throws a box of candy at him and it hits his face. The audience cheers.)
Kennedy: WHO DID THAT?
Audience: YOU SUCK!
(Funaki enters the ring. Kennedy refuses to wrestle because nobody saw who hit Kennedy in the face. While security asked around, Kennedy stormed off.)
Pat “Yes Man” Patterson: But you must compete, Kennedy.
Kennedy: I go out there and aggravate people with my sucky routine. I deserve respect. I'm leaving.
(Kennedy takes off.)
Jerry “Suck Up” Brisco: We’ll need a replacement. Let’s send that Tanswell wanker.
(Jess was still in the recovery area.)
Jess: Um um… I-I thought this stuff was fake.
Arn Anderson: Hey Tanswell, we need you in the ring. NOW!
Jess: Yes sir.
JF: It’s getting really difficult to be a puppet around here. When the intelligent posters on IMDb says the WWE sucks, well tonight I can see there point.
BK: Come on JF, WWE has made ECW better.
JF: Shut up.
(Jess walks to the ring to face Funaki who is supposed to be on Wack Down.)
BK: Boy, you’re in a bad mood.
JF: I should’ve stayed in WCW.
(Funaki mops the floor with Jess.)
BK: Now the dork is 0-4. HA HA!
JF: So what?
(Backstage we see Mac Daddy, William Steven Regal, and Blandy “RKO” Bore-ton talking.)
BK: Wow, this is exciting, Floss!
JF: No, it really isn’t. Gee, up next we’ve got ECW’s The Mizz against The Boogey Man. My goodness, back in 1993 what was I thinking? I should’ve kept my job in WCW, perhaps things would be different now.
BK: Whoa! Look at The Mizz.
JF: But no, I had to leave and join Watered-down Wrestling Enterprise.
BK: It’s Boogey Man.
JF: A toga, I had to wear a toga on a PPV event.
(The Boogey Man captures the victory.)
BK: This second hour has been impressive so far.
JF: Then a year later Mac Daddy fires me.
BK: Um, next we’ve got a non-title match.
JF: Mac Daddy gets indicted, so he calls me back.
BK: It features our WWE Champion John Zena.
JF: After Mac Daddy cheats his way to a “not guilty” verdict, he fires me again.
BK: The Chump will take on 5 Raw wrestlers um I mean sports entertainers that no one cares about.
JF: So much crap over the years.
BK: And our chump will also face 5 people from Wackdown.
JF: Hog farmers, wrestling plumbers, The Goon, clowns, it’s all just too much.
BK: And the Vanilla Ice wannabe will also take on 5 ECW grapplers.
JF: We gave Mable a push.
BK: That’s 15 opponents for the chump.
(The stupid Blandy theme music hits.)
Bore-ton: Ya’ know, if John Zena were a real man he’d agree to make this an elimination match instead.
Zena: I agree. Also Lucy Lawless accidently thought I was Eminem so as a favor to her I'm changing the spelling of my name. So I am now, John Xena. THUG LIFE! CHAIN GANG!
JF: I could’ve been in WCW when Hulk Hogan arrived.
(The crap fest match began.)
BK: The chump gave an FU to a WD competitor. 1-2-3! Elimination. 14 guys to go. STFU on another one. And a roll up, another one gone.
JF: To think I could’ve been with WCW when “Macho Man” Randy Savage arrived.
BK: Our chump just got rid of all the WD guys. 10 opponents to go.
JF: I could’ve been the lead announcer for Monday Nitro.
The Chump, John Xena obviously wins.
BK: Now Xena applies a figure four and eliminates another one, 9 more. Oh boy, he immediately gets an inside cradle on another one. 8 more. Clothesline! And another elimination. 7 more.
JF: I could’ve been with WCW during the N.W.O. days.
BK: Chump Xena just eliminated another one. 6 more to go. JF: 1997 the biggest year in wrestling thanks to WCW and N.W. O and I'm stuck with stale garbage over here.
BK: 5 more, wow.
JF: 1998, Bill Goldberg. Bret Hart. But no, I'm stuck here with lame crap. 1999, Mick Foley wins the title…BIG DEAL!
BK: Oh my, our chump eliminates another one. 4 more. Make that 3.
JF: Huh! Hour three, and still the show sucks. 1999 we dealt with a Mac Daddy program. Vince, Linda, Shane, Stephanie. I should’ve been with WCW.
BK: 2 more to go. FU elemination.
JF: 2000 I could’ve worked along side Eric Bischoff, Vince Russo, and Ed Ferrara.
BK: The Chump wins!
Cant for the life of me remember what I ever did to piss off Jenkins and his goonies but I also remember them challenging me to fly to America and wrestle Roman in there back yard wrestling group.
