Post by THE Man They Call Uberto on Oct 1, 2008 17:30:49 GMT -5
You've been waiting all this time It's finally arrived.
(Uberto confessional booth.)
As of now everything is going smoothly for TEAM UDDBCKT I feel like we're the dominant force in this house, I mean there's ten people left and 7 of them are in the team and one of the other 3 is secretly with us.
(Simpsons confessional booth.)
<Simpsons> Yeaaaaaah, really screwed my team over by throwing all the challenges, but they're gone and I'm still here so that's all that count.
(Jenkins is playing the new tna game.)
<Jenkins> I love it, hit him with the steel chair, again hahaha, again, aww it broke, but wait there's another steel chair outside of the ring sweet this game is greater than here comes the pain.
<Tanswell> It doesn't bother you that there is only one weapon.
<Jenkins> Nope it's just that fucking cool.
(Faker slumps back in the chair, bottle of bacardi 151 in his hand, he takes a swig.)
<Faker> And then handah bladabah, Jenkins nuhnahnofana masterbate abalahah sonah molestation.
(Canedust confessional booth.)
<Canedust> I think fake has a serious drinking problem that probably stems from being molested when he was a kid by his uncle or something.
(Canedust, bbsy, Uberto, draven, and Christine.)
<bbsy> So it's really coming down to the home stretch.
<Uberto> Look all I'm saying is there are 7 people in our alliance and that's two too many.
<Christine> What are you saying?
<Draven> There's no need to kick anyone out of the team yet.
<Uberto> Yet I know, I'm not saying now.
<Canedust> There's still Jenkins, Simpsons and Fake.
<Uberto> I'm in no rush to eliminate Simpsons, he's done a lot for our team. Look I want us to look at this as a strategical point of view, there's five of us. The prize is 500,000 theoritical dollars. I have no problem if I win to split the money 5 ways.
<Christine> Are you proposing another alliance, and a pact.
<Uberto> I'm just asking you for your words, every decision we make is for the best interest of us five. I'll split it with all four of you if I win.
<Christine> I'll do it too.
<Draven> Sounds like a plan I'm in.
<bbsy> I'm down.
<Canedust> LET'S DO THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!
<bbsy> So you're saying Killalot and Tanswell are expendable.
<Uberto> As much as I like and respect the two yes they are.
(Everyone else comes in.)
<Tanswell> What's everyone talking about.
<Uberto>.......Sports.
<Killalot> Are any of you infected?
<bbsy> With what?
<Killalot> The Jedi Zombie virus.
<Christine> Dammit none of us have it it's been a month since that shit happened.
<Draven> Really it's been a month since the last elimination shouldn't we be down to the final four by now?
<Canedust> Don't get technical.
<Uberto> Yeah really........douche. See you produce a reality show.
(Jenkins goes in the refrigerator.)
<Jenkins> WHO DRANK ALL MY JUICY FRUIT?
<Fake> I habla espererar comes mixed necesita gato with rojo aZul verde my pollo gracias vodka.
<Jenkins> YOU BASTARD!
(Jenkins runs after fake who vladimer kosolov headbutts him onto a table, then out of nowhere RVD frogsplashes jenkins through the table.)
<RVD> SUP Dudes it's ROB.....VAN......DAM.....the whole fucking show. Guess what you dudes and dudette's challenge I have for you today?
<Uberto> Pot smoking?
<RVD> You must be some sort of mind reader.
<Uberto> Great minds think a like. But how's it gonna happen. They must have awesome weed here in amsterdam
<RVD> They got some nasty skunk.
<Uberto> Sweet.
<RVD> First round how long you can rip a blunt, you will be timed. The lowest four times are eliminated in that round, the person who has the lowest time is automatically in the bottom 3 and is up for elimination tonight. First up Jenkins.
(Jenkins confessional booth.)
<Jenkins> I have never smoked pot, never drank, never smoked a cigarette, never well did anything with my life beside watch TNA and I don't plan on starting anything today.
(The blunt is lit and past to Jenkins.)
<Jenkins> Pass.
<RVD> Eliminated from the challenge, you are up for elimination tonight.
(Draven confessional booth)
<Draven> Give him his check and send him home.
<RVD> Canedust.
(Canedust is passed the blunt he hits it for 7 seconds before coughing out the smoke. )
<RVD> Canedust has the highest time of 7seconds. Simpsons.
(Simpsons goes and hits the blunt for 6 seconds.)
<RVD> Canedust still has the highest time.
(Uberto confessional booth)
<Uberto> We'll see how long that's gonna last.
<RVD> Fake.
(Fake takes a shot of some sort or rum, and hits the blunt for 6 seconds.)
<RVD> Fake tokes in at 6 seconds. Killalot.
(Killalot hits the blunt for 4 seconds.)
<RVD> Killalot is at risk of being eliminated from the challenge. Draven.
(Draven hits the blunt for five seconds.)
<RVD> As is draven. Tanswell.
(Tanswell hits the blunt for 3 seconds and coughs violently. Tanswell confessional booth.)
<Tanswell> What can I say I don't smoke talk to me in like 60 years no wait you'll cancer by then.
(Back to the challenge.)
<RVD> As it stands Jenkins is up for elimination, and him and tanswell, killalot, and draven might be eliminated in the first round of the challenge. Christine.
(Christine hits the blunt for a long time 10 seconds she blows the smoke out a few seconds later.)
<RVD> Christine is in the lead with 10 seconds. bbsy you're up.
(bbsy hits the blunt for 7 seconds.)
<RVD> Last but not least
(Uberto hops in front of RVD.)
<Uberto> THE UBERTO BARTONO, now pass that blunt.
(Uberto hits the blunt, and hits the blunt, and hits the blunt 15 seconds.)
<RVD> Uberto wins round one with 15 seconds. Going into round two is Uberto, Christine, Fake, Canedust, Simpsons, bbsy.
(bbsy confessional booth.)
<bbsy> I don't like my chances, I don't smoke pot often, and if fake or simpsons win pay master I might be as good as gone, So I'm relying on Uberto or Christine to win.)
<RVD> Now in this next challenge two people will be eliminated, in the endurance challenge. You must fill the bong with smoke and then whoever holds their hit in the longest wins the round, bottom two people are eliminated from the challenge, First up bbsy.
(bbsy rips the bong and then coughs like 3 seconds later. bbsy confessional.)
<bbsy> WOOOOOOOOOOOOW this is not good. I gotta hope fake and simpsons do worse than me.
<RVD> bbsy 3 seconds, up next Uberto.
(Uberto clears the bong and then blows out the smoke a good 25 seconds later. Fake looks worried....or drunk you can't really tell at this point.)
<RVD> Hitting the bong like a true champ Uberto has the lead with 25 seconds. Canedust.
(Canedust takes a huge bong rip and coughs out smoke 7 seconds later.)
<RVD> Canedust, bbsy you are at risk of being eliminated. Simpsons.
(Simpsons hits the bong and coughs four seconds later.)
<RVD> Nevermind you're replaced by Simpsons.
(Simpsons confessional booth.)
<Simpsons> This sucks I mean I have no strong alliance and I really need to be pay master to stay in this game. Maybe next week.
<RVD> Fake.
(Fake dumps the bong water out and fills it with vodka and rips the bong and blows out smoke 10 seconds later He then drinks the bong vodka.)
<RVD> Christine.
(Christine hits the bong and blows smoke out 26 seconds later.)
<RVD> Christine you beat Uberto by just a second. Simpsons bbsy you're out of the challenge.
(bbsy confessional booth)
<bbsy> If fake wins I feel I'm as good as out it's all up to canedust, christine, or Uberto.
<RVD> CHICAGO, take a hit off the blunt hold your hit in, don't blow out until it gets passed back to you first two out lose.
(They light the blunt Uberto hits, christine hits, fake hits, canedust hits, Uberto blows out, takes hit, christine blows out, take hit, canedust coughs as fake blows out and is eliminated. The blunt is passed around for a few rotations until fake coughs before the blunt is passed to him.)
(Uberto confessional booth.)
<Uberto> It's down to me and Christine, if I win I'm immune, if she wins I'm immune, so no matter what I can't go wrong, ba ba boosh!
(Christine confessional booth.)
<Christine> Yeah the funny thing is I don't even smoke pot that much.....any more....I mean recently.
<RVD> Now it's down to the final two, in front of each of you is a packed bowl, a packed pipe, a packed bong, and a hookah with three grams of bud in it. Whoever finishes first wins paymaster and immunity.
(It's a long process and after 10 minutes Uberto wins.)
(Uberto and Christine confessional booth.)
<Uberto> One thing's for sure.
<Uberto and Christine> We're FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED UP.
(Back to the house.)
<Uberto> You guys need to put Fake and Killalot in there or killalot and tanswell. So vote them in, talk to simpsons he'll help vote them out I'm keeping jenkins he's not a threat.
(Tanswell and Killalot come in.)
<Tanswell> You back stabbing motha fucker! When were you gonna let us know?
<Uberto> After I eliminated you. Look it's nothing personal it's just 500,000 dollars.
<Canedust> Yeah it's not like we don't like you, we do it's just we can't go sevenzies on the award money.
<bbsy> Yep that's what it all boils down to.
<Uberto> You never know I might eliminate Jenkins.
<Killalot> Like you'd eliminate jenkins, you guys are douchebags.
(To the vault.)
<RVD> Jenkins your bitch ass is in the bottom 3 because you're a pussy. Who votes for Fake?
(No one raises their hand.)
<RVD> No votes for fake. bbsy?
(Killalot, fake, jenkins and Tanswell raise their hands.)
<RVD> 4 for bbsy, Christine?
(No one raises their hands.)
<RVD> Canedust?
(Killalot, fake, jenkins and Tanswell raise their hands.)
<RVD> 4 for bbsy, 4 for canedust. Killalot?
(Canedust, bbsy, simpsons, draven, and christine raise their hands.)
<RVD> 5 for killalot, 2 for bbsy, 2 for canedust. Draven?
(Killalot, fake, jenkins and Tanswell raise their hands.)
<RVD> 5 for killalot, 4 for bbsy, 4 for canedust, 4 for draven. Simpsons?
(Killalot, fake, jenkins and Tanswell raise their hands.)
<RVD> 5 for killalot, 4 for bbsy, 4 for canedust, 4 for draven, 4 for simpsons. Tanswell.
(Canedust, bbsy, simpsons, draven, and christine raise their hands.)
<RVD> 5 for killalot, 5 for Tanswell, 4 for bbsy, 4 for canedust, 4 for draven, 4 for simpsons. Tanswell, Jenkins, Killalot, you're up for elimination Nooooooooooow. UBERTO!
(Uberto walks in. Uberto Confessional booth.)
<Uberto> So it's at this point I'm wondering who THE Uberto is going to eliminate tonight, and who are my choices.
(Back to the elimination ceremony.)
<RVD> Uberto as you know Jenkins was dead last in the challenge.
<Uberto> I don't care who the other two choices are, as much as I hate the bastard Jenkins come up and get your check.
(Jenkins gets his check and the a man in a blue jumpsuit and orange afro kicks jenkins in the nuts who squeals in pain, but is calmed down after the dude informs him that he's just been kicked in the nuts. Jenkins confessional booth.)
<Jenkins> I'm gonna be on TV, it's awesome I've survived another elimination ceremony, I'm just a few weeks away to getting that half mil, I can maybe finally buy a girlfriend with that money.
(Back to the elimination ceremony.)
<RVD> You're last two choices are Killalot and Tanswell.
<Uberto> Killalot come up here.
(Killalot comes to Uberto.)
<Uberto> You're a very cool person, you've came through many a times, like for instance that whole jedi zombie fiasco you kicked ass, and you're my boy. We're team mates through and through......Tanswell get your check. Killalot I'm sorry it's time for you to bounce.
(Killalot confessional booth.)
<Killalot> I kick all that jedi zombie ass I've been friends with all of them for so long and in the end I got stabbed in the back by all my "friends".
(bbsy confessional booth.)
<bbsy> You knew it was a tough decision on Uberto, but like he said he made the decision best for the team.
(Uberto confessional booth.)
<Uberto> It was tough but whatever life goes on, I have to get rid of all the strong competition. So it's just down to TEAM UDDBC.
(Canedust confessional booth.)
<Canedust> I think the team is on a surefire path to 100 g's each.
(Uberto confessional booth.)
As of now everything is going smoothly for TEAM UDDBCKT I feel like we're the dominant force in this house, I mean there's ten people left and 7 of them are in the team and one of the other 3 is secretly with us.
(Simpsons confessional booth.)
<Simpsons> Yeaaaaaah, really screwed my team over by throwing all the challenges, but they're gone and I'm still here so that's all that count.
(Jenkins is playing the new tna game.)
<Jenkins> I love it, hit him with the steel chair, again hahaha, again, aww it broke, but wait there's another steel chair outside of the ring sweet this game is greater than here comes the pain.
<Tanswell> It doesn't bother you that there is only one weapon.
<Jenkins> Nope it's just that fucking cool.
(Faker slumps back in the chair, bottle of bacardi 151 in his hand, he takes a swig.)
<Faker> And then handah bladabah, Jenkins nuhnahnofana masterbate abalahah sonah molestation.
(Canedust confessional booth.)
<Canedust> I think fake has a serious drinking problem that probably stems from being molested when he was a kid by his uncle or something.
(Canedust, bbsy, Uberto, draven, and Christine.)
<bbsy> So it's really coming down to the home stretch.
<Uberto> Look all I'm saying is there are 7 people in our alliance and that's two too many.
<Christine> What are you saying?
<Draven> There's no need to kick anyone out of the team yet.
<Uberto> Yet I know, I'm not saying now.
<Canedust> There's still Jenkins, Simpsons and Fake.
<Uberto> I'm in no rush to eliminate Simpsons, he's done a lot for our team. Look I want us to look at this as a strategical point of view, there's five of us. The prize is 500,000 theoritical dollars. I have no problem if I win to split the money 5 ways.
<Christine> Are you proposing another alliance, and a pact.
<Uberto> I'm just asking you for your words, every decision we make is for the best interest of us five. I'll split it with all four of you if I win.
<Christine> I'll do it too.
<Draven> Sounds like a plan I'm in.
<bbsy> I'm down.
<Canedust> LET'S DO THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!
<bbsy> So you're saying Killalot and Tanswell are expendable.
<Uberto> As much as I like and respect the two yes they are.
(Everyone else comes in.)
<Tanswell> What's everyone talking about.
<Uberto>.......Sports.
<Killalot> Are any of you infected?
<bbsy> With what?
<Killalot> The Jedi Zombie virus.
<Christine> Dammit none of us have it it's been a month since that shit happened.
<Draven> Really it's been a month since the last elimination shouldn't we be down to the final four by now?
<Canedust> Don't get technical.
<Uberto> Yeah really........douche. See you produce a reality show.
(Jenkins goes in the refrigerator.)
<Jenkins> WHO DRANK ALL MY JUICY FRUIT?
<Fake> I habla espererar comes mixed necesita gato with rojo aZul verde my pollo gracias vodka.
<Jenkins> YOU BASTARD!
(Jenkins runs after fake who vladimer kosolov headbutts him onto a table, then out of nowhere RVD frogsplashes jenkins through the table.)
<RVD> SUP Dudes it's ROB.....VAN......DAM.....the whole fucking show. Guess what you dudes and dudette's challenge I have for you today?
<Uberto> Pot smoking?
<RVD> You must be some sort of mind reader.
<Uberto> Great minds think a like. But how's it gonna happen. They must have awesome weed here in amsterdam
<RVD> They got some nasty skunk.
<Uberto> Sweet.
<RVD> First round how long you can rip a blunt, you will be timed. The lowest four times are eliminated in that round, the person who has the lowest time is automatically in the bottom 3 and is up for elimination tonight. First up Jenkins.
(Jenkins confessional booth.)
<Jenkins> I have never smoked pot, never drank, never smoked a cigarette, never well did anything with my life beside watch TNA and I don't plan on starting anything today.
(The blunt is lit and past to Jenkins.)
<Jenkins> Pass.
<RVD> Eliminated from the challenge, you are up for elimination tonight.
(Draven confessional booth)
<Draven> Give him his check and send him home.
<RVD> Canedust.
(Canedust is passed the blunt he hits it for 7 seconds before coughing out the smoke. )
<RVD> Canedust has the highest time of 7seconds. Simpsons.
(Simpsons goes and hits the blunt for 6 seconds.)
<RVD> Canedust still has the highest time.
(Uberto confessional booth)
<Uberto> We'll see how long that's gonna last.
<RVD> Fake.
(Fake takes a shot of some sort or rum, and hits the blunt for 6 seconds.)
<RVD> Fake tokes in at 6 seconds. Killalot.
(Killalot hits the blunt for 4 seconds.)
<RVD> Killalot is at risk of being eliminated from the challenge. Draven.
(Draven hits the blunt for five seconds.)
<RVD> As is draven. Tanswell.
(Tanswell hits the blunt for 3 seconds and coughs violently. Tanswell confessional booth.)
<Tanswell> What can I say I don't smoke talk to me in like 60 years no wait you'll cancer by then.
(Back to the challenge.)
<RVD> As it stands Jenkins is up for elimination, and him and tanswell, killalot, and draven might be eliminated in the first round of the challenge. Christine.
(Christine hits the blunt for a long time 10 seconds she blows the smoke out a few seconds later.)
<RVD> Christine is in the lead with 10 seconds. bbsy you're up.
(bbsy hits the blunt for 7 seconds.)
<RVD> Last but not least
(Uberto hops in front of RVD.)
<Uberto> THE UBERTO BARTONO, now pass that blunt.
(Uberto hits the blunt, and hits the blunt, and hits the blunt 15 seconds.)
<RVD> Uberto wins round one with 15 seconds. Going into round two is Uberto, Christine, Fake, Canedust, Simpsons, bbsy.
(bbsy confessional booth.)
<bbsy> I don't like my chances, I don't smoke pot often, and if fake or simpsons win pay master I might be as good as gone, So I'm relying on Uberto or Christine to win.)
<RVD> Now in this next challenge two people will be eliminated, in the endurance challenge. You must fill the bong with smoke and then whoever holds their hit in the longest wins the round, bottom two people are eliminated from the challenge, First up bbsy.
(bbsy rips the bong and then coughs like 3 seconds later. bbsy confessional.)
<bbsy> WOOOOOOOOOOOOW this is not good. I gotta hope fake and simpsons do worse than me.
<RVD> bbsy 3 seconds, up next Uberto.
(Uberto clears the bong and then blows out the smoke a good 25 seconds later. Fake looks worried....or drunk you can't really tell at this point.)
<RVD> Hitting the bong like a true champ Uberto has the lead with 25 seconds. Canedust.
(Canedust takes a huge bong rip and coughs out smoke 7 seconds later.)
<RVD> Canedust, bbsy you are at risk of being eliminated. Simpsons.
(Simpsons hits the bong and coughs four seconds later.)
<RVD> Nevermind you're replaced by Simpsons.
(Simpsons confessional booth.)
<Simpsons> This sucks I mean I have no strong alliance and I really need to be pay master to stay in this game. Maybe next week.
<RVD> Fake.
(Fake dumps the bong water out and fills it with vodka and rips the bong and blows out smoke 10 seconds later He then drinks the bong vodka.)
<RVD> Christine.
(Christine hits the bong and blows smoke out 26 seconds later.)
<RVD> Christine you beat Uberto by just a second. Simpsons bbsy you're out of the challenge.
(bbsy confessional booth)
<bbsy> If fake wins I feel I'm as good as out it's all up to canedust, christine, or Uberto.
<RVD> CHICAGO, take a hit off the blunt hold your hit in, don't blow out until it gets passed back to you first two out lose.
(They light the blunt Uberto hits, christine hits, fake hits, canedust hits, Uberto blows out, takes hit, christine blows out, take hit, canedust coughs as fake blows out and is eliminated. The blunt is passed around for a few rotations until fake coughs before the blunt is passed to him.)
(Uberto confessional booth.)
<Uberto> It's down to me and Christine, if I win I'm immune, if she wins I'm immune, so no matter what I can't go wrong, ba ba boosh!
(Christine confessional booth.)
<Christine> Yeah the funny thing is I don't even smoke pot that much.....any more....I mean recently.
<RVD> Now it's down to the final two, in front of each of you is a packed bowl, a packed pipe, a packed bong, and a hookah with three grams of bud in it. Whoever finishes first wins paymaster and immunity.
(It's a long process and after 10 minutes Uberto wins.)
(Uberto and Christine confessional booth.)
<Uberto> One thing's for sure.
<Uberto and Christine> We're FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED UP.
(Back to the house.)
<Uberto> You guys need to put Fake and Killalot in there or killalot and tanswell. So vote them in, talk to simpsons he'll help vote them out I'm keeping jenkins he's not a threat.
(Tanswell and Killalot come in.)
<Tanswell> You back stabbing motha fucker! When were you gonna let us know?
<Uberto> After I eliminated you. Look it's nothing personal it's just 500,000 dollars.
<Canedust> Yeah it's not like we don't like you, we do it's just we can't go sevenzies on the award money.
<bbsy> Yep that's what it all boils down to.
<Uberto> You never know I might eliminate Jenkins.
<Killalot> Like you'd eliminate jenkins, you guys are douchebags.
(To the vault.)
<RVD> Jenkins your bitch ass is in the bottom 3 because you're a pussy. Who votes for Fake?
(No one raises their hand.)
<RVD> No votes for fake. bbsy?
(Killalot, fake, jenkins and Tanswell raise their hands.)
<RVD> 4 for bbsy, Christine?
(No one raises their hands.)
<RVD> Canedust?
(Killalot, fake, jenkins and Tanswell raise their hands.)
<RVD> 4 for bbsy, 4 for canedust. Killalot?
(Canedust, bbsy, simpsons, draven, and christine raise their hands.)
<RVD> 5 for killalot, 2 for bbsy, 2 for canedust. Draven?
(Killalot, fake, jenkins and Tanswell raise their hands.)
<RVD> 5 for killalot, 4 for bbsy, 4 for canedust, 4 for draven. Simpsons?
(Killalot, fake, jenkins and Tanswell raise their hands.)
<RVD> 5 for killalot, 4 for bbsy, 4 for canedust, 4 for draven, 4 for simpsons. Tanswell.
(Canedust, bbsy, simpsons, draven, and christine raise their hands.)
<RVD> 5 for killalot, 5 for Tanswell, 4 for bbsy, 4 for canedust, 4 for draven, 4 for simpsons. Tanswell, Jenkins, Killalot, you're up for elimination Nooooooooooow. UBERTO!
(Uberto walks in. Uberto Confessional booth.)
<Uberto> So it's at this point I'm wondering who THE Uberto is going to eliminate tonight, and who are my choices.
(Back to the elimination ceremony.)
<RVD> Uberto as you know Jenkins was dead last in the challenge.
<Uberto> I don't care who the other two choices are, as much as I hate the bastard Jenkins come up and get your check.
(Jenkins gets his check and the a man in a blue jumpsuit and orange afro kicks jenkins in the nuts who squeals in pain, but is calmed down after the dude informs him that he's just been kicked in the nuts. Jenkins confessional booth.)
<Jenkins> I'm gonna be on TV, it's awesome I've survived another elimination ceremony, I'm just a few weeks away to getting that half mil, I can maybe finally buy a girlfriend with that money.
(Back to the elimination ceremony.)
<RVD> You're last two choices are Killalot and Tanswell.
<Uberto> Killalot come up here.
(Killalot comes to Uberto.)
<Uberto> You're a very cool person, you've came through many a times, like for instance that whole jedi zombie fiasco you kicked ass, and you're my boy. We're team mates through and through......Tanswell get your check. Killalot I'm sorry it's time for you to bounce.
(Killalot confessional booth.)
<Killalot> I kick all that jedi zombie ass I've been friends with all of them for so long and in the end I got stabbed in the back by all my "friends".
(bbsy confessional booth.)
<bbsy> You knew it was a tough decision on Uberto, but like he said he made the decision best for the team.
(Uberto confessional booth.)
<Uberto> It was tough but whatever life goes on, I have to get rid of all the strong competition. So it's just down to TEAM UDDBC.
(Canedust confessional booth.)
<Canedust> I think the team is on a surefire path to 100 g's each.
